German wedding traditions are something to reckon with. There are the romantic, the almost violent and the downright bizarre.
If you’ve been invited to a German wedding or are planning to marry in Germany, don’t be surprised to see some porcelain smashed on the ground at the party. Odd as they may sound, most of these traditions serve the same purpose: to ensure a happy future for the newly married couple.
So, grab something old, something new and something blue and follow us into the wild world of German wedding traditions.
1. Polterabend
2. Sleeping apart on the night before the wedding
3. Kidnapping the bride
4. Storing a penny in the bride’s shoe
5. Forming a guard of honor
6. Cutting the wedding cake together
7. Veil dance
8. Carrying the bride over the threshold
9. Wedding gifts
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1. ‘Polterabend’
German traditions in general can seem quite unusual to outsiders. A special kind of pre-wedding tradition in Germany is the Polterabend.
This sort of wedding reception takes place the night before the wedding and is a tradition that goes back as far as the Middle Ages. The bride’s and groom’s friends and family come together to celebrate the almost-married couple and wish them luck for their future.
To protect them from bad luck, they break china and porcelain dishes and smash them on the ground. The noise is said to keep demons and ghosts away, but it’s also a lot of fun for everyone involved.
In the end, the couple has to clean up the mess.
2. Sleeping apart on the night before the wedding
Not every couple does it, but about a third of the couples who get married in Germany spend the night before the wedding apart. It’s believed that the marriage will be a happy one if they first see each other when the ceremony begins.
3. Kidnapping the bride
A tradition that has lost some of its appeal over the years (probably because it interrupts the flow of a good party) is the kidnapping of the bride on the wedding day.
At one point during the day, a group secretly abducts the bride from the wedding party. This “kidnapping” is mostly innocent; the bride usually ends up at a bar, where she enjoys some drinks until her partner manages to find her.
The meaner the friends, the longer this will take. Not everyone is thrilled about that, so a lot of couples tend to skip this part.
4. Storing a penny in the bride’s shoe
As a symbol of prosperity and frugality, the bride-to-be traditionally hides a penny inside her shoe on the wedding day. Some feel that walking in heels all day is uncomfortable enough without a penny sticking to the sole of their foot, so they stick the money on the outside of the shoe.
5. Forming a guard of honor
So, the couple has tied the knot, and it’s time to leave the church or the Standesamt (registry office) to move on to the next location for food and drinks.
The wedding guests traditionally wait for the couple outside the building, forming two rows and holding the hand of the person standing opposite to them. Once the couple exits the building, they make their way underneath the outstretched arms.
This first walk as a married couple symbolizes that the couple will face any future challenges together.
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6. Cutting the wedding cake together
Before (or sometimes after) the feast, the newlyweds cut the cake together with one knife. Whoever happens to have their hand on top of the other’s is said to be the more dominant one in the relationship.
7. Veil dance
The veil dance is one of the more bizarre German wedding traditions.
At midnight, the bride enters the dance floor with her veil and starts dancing on her own. She is joined by all the unmarried women at the wedding, who then try to rip the veil apart. The one who gets the biggest piece is said to be the next one to marry.
There are not many weddings where this tradition is still practiced, simply because the couple’s first dance usually takes place before midnight. It has mostly been replaced by the throwing of the bridal bouquet.
8. Carrying the bride over the threshold
Another tradition born out of superstition is the carrying of the bride over the threshold of the couple’s new home.
It was once believed that demons were glowering underneath the new home, waiting to sabotage the couple’s luck. Therefore, the husband carries his wife over the threshold to protect her from any bad fortune.
9. Wedding gifts
If you’ve been invited as a guest to a German wedding, you’re probably wondering what kind of wedding gifts you should give to the newly wedded couple.
While it used to be common to give the new couple furniture and kitchen utensils for their new home, most couples these days are happier with cash donations. The reason is simply that a lot of couples already live together before they get married and don’t have to buy a new mixer. Cash gifts are often used to cover the wedding expenses.
Keeping German wedding traditions alive
Whether you believe in their original purpose or not, German wedding traditions are good entertainment.
Traditions like the Polterabend, where the wedding couple and their guests smash porcelain together, can be a lot of fun. Others, like the kidnapping of the bride or the veil dance, have already lost some of their appeal with younger couples. It’s unlikely — though not impossible — that you’ll witness these more outlandish traditions at a German wedding.
To maximize the fun you have at a German wedding, consider a German language course. It will certainly help you shine when making conversation with the guests!
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Lea Hauke
Lea is a writer and translator for English and German and lives in Austria. Her love for literature is only met by her enthusiasm for music. During her studies in Berlin, she started writing for different music magazines and was the singer and drummer of a punk band. When she completed her Masters in English Literature, she moved to Tyrol, where she started her own business. Since then she has made it her mission to help others to find the right words for their ideas and projects. You can find more information about her on her website and on LinkedIn.
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